Some Background on the Civil War

So you see some really old white guys were really racist, and they hated black people.

And it was like this for around 100 years, till Abraham linchpin (an auto correct from Word 97) came in and freed the slaves himself. One plantation at a time. At least that’s what my textbook you gave us said.

They said that only black people could be enslaved cause they are stupid, dumb, and act like 9 year old's.

Which is a bit presumptuous don’t you think? (said the 9 year old).

In reality many African Americans fought to free the rest of the African population of America like Fredrick Douglass, and Harriet Tubman

Later on though like in July, they actually got their stuff together and started a real battle in which the confederates won.

Their joke was not only not funny but also late..

So once they all seceded they decided to play a little April fools day prank on America by bombing Fort Sumter.

Half of the seceding states even stated that slavery was their reason for leaving in their secession letters

But I digress, It’s no use trying to argue with idiots, and I would know cause I’m one myself (so am I!).

That’s some lost cause revisionist stuff that I ain’t quite really understand nor care about because I’m smarter than a 78 year old white racist man from the south who likes to date his sister, and can understand that. No it wasn’t about states rights, it was about states wrongs.

Though their grandchildren swear now that it wasn’t because Abraham was going to take away their slaves… It was because of states rights actually.

And it’s because of this blindness that, when Abraham Linchpin was elected into office, the racist whites of the south decided to leave.

These really famous guys and some other less famous guys are what brought the spotlight to the ills of slavery cause apparently everyone was just blind in the past.

who despite her last name, was not born in a tub nor is a man.

No one was laughing and everyone was rather peeved about the whole thing, and so like that. War was declared.

 

Though unlike what's stated in my textbook this only applied to slaves in the south, who were at this point were not yet apart of the nation. Real awkward.

Turns out basing your entire lifestyle and economy on the hard work of others without doing anything yourself tends to leave you lost, when those people eventually fight back against your lazy arse.

This was the only real time they would win, cause as the war would continue, it became apparent that the south was really struggling with the whole supplies thing.

 

Towards 1863, Gettysburg, and Antietam, had given us enough of a political leverage to say that the slaves were free.

Than later on Sherman marched across what was left of the south while doing a little jig, all the way to the east coast.

This and Grant taking over the Mississippi river, resulted in the south getting real antsy and what not.

By this point it became apparent that the south was not going to win, and so in 1864 on April 9th lee surrendered to grant at Appomattox.

THE END

You didn't expect me to go in depth right? Cause this is just suppose to give you some background information on the Civil war. Besides your on the world wide highway! You can just look up information about the Civil War by someone who actually knows stuff. And who preferably isn’t 9.