The Interview with Mr Jenkels

Since I ain’t got no digitizer or whatever I can’t actually show you the video interview we did with Mr. Jenkels. But I can provide you a transcript me and Athena made of the interview!

We asked Mr Jenkels about his thoughts on..
 

Athena: First on the list of questions for you Mr Jenkels.

Athena: What’re your thoughts about the election of Abraham Lincoln.

Mr Jenkels: Well He seems to be quite the nice man… He’s got nice cheekbones, and his beard it kinda looks like mine... And thats really about all I remember when I was in school… Sorry kids, I’m like 74 and counting. Last time I was in a school was in 1968 and that was for my sons college graduation.

Mr Jenkels: Actually… I remember something else about his election.

Mr Jenkels: He was elected in 1861.

Me: You really can’t remember anything else?

Mr Jenkels: Of course not boy! I’m 74 and homeless, living in a cardboard box in a city that’s the size of a cardboard box, where nobody knows my name!

Me: that sounds an awful lot like a song I heard on the radio once…

Mr Jenkels: Yeah well radio becomes your best friend when you’s homeless and got no TV to watch.

Me: Well tune into some educational radio channels every once in a while or something!

Mr Jenkels: Why would I want to do that?!?! It’s not like learning about the Civil War is going to help me get out of here!

Me: Well it might not be able to give you a home, but… were giving you a sandwich in return for helping us out here.

Me: you could at least read a book… Assuming you know how to read that is.

Mr Jenkels: Boy! I know how to read, I’m homeless, not stupid!

Me: Fine than, read that book in Athena’s bag.

--Athena grabs a book about the Civil War from her bag--

Athena: It won’t fill your stomach, but it will fill your brain… Not really, I learned about the civil war mostly from him.

--Athena points towards me--

Mr Jenkels: Alright than, I’ll read this book, and read him later.

Mr Jenkels: That sounded a bit predatory… Sorry kid.

--Mr Jenkels skims through the book for a while--

Mr Jenkels: Ah! Here’s the part about Lincolns election.

Mr Jenkels: Says here that because of Lincolns election that the southern states left the union… It also says he was a republican.

Mr Jenkels: He. Boy is that funny! I remember my father used to always vote Democrat because they was the conservative party back in our time. My how the tables change. Now it’s the Democrats who’re the liberal party.

Mr Jenkels: You know back in… I’d like to say 71, I was walking around the neighborhood one day to see a bunch of white house wives protesting bussing. They said that the kids from the neighborhood on over of this town were bad influences on their kids, and that they shouldn’t be allowed to attend our schools. At that time, Jeraldsville was mostly populated by black folks.

Mr Jenkels: I talked to one of them about why dey was doing all this protesting when the schools were integrated with black folks already. One of them told me that she convinced her husband to leave their old neighborhood because of that, and that she’d do the same thing again if this bussing law was able to pass.

Mr Jenkels: I know it ain’t the same as an entire state, or section of the country leaving, but still. Folks like that get angry and irrational about the silliest of things. And sometimes that leads to them harming other people, whether they know, care or don’t at all.

Mr Jenkels: I mean I still remember the uproar when the Civil Rights bill was passed, a couple blocks down from my house, the local KKK members ended up starting this big fire outside of town, while in their silly little blankets.

Mr Jenkels: If they weren’t so hell bent on strapping innocent folks to stakes and burning them alive, they’d almost be like a cute little cult of weirdos with a passion in making fires.
 

Mr Jenkels: But they never was that, and never will be that. Just like how those old house wives never convinced their husbands to move away from this city. That bussing law still ended up passing. They stayed, they was all talk and no walk.

Me: You know I once read in a book that some people from the south when the civil war was over moved to South America where slavery was still mostly legal.

Mr Jenkels: Well I guess they had the cajones to do that, but not everyone's so unabashedly stupid, and hot headed like those folks. Though I guess stupidity was just something a lot more common back in the 1860’s, so I suppose that’s why dem folks from the south left after Lincoln was elected.

Me: Cajones? I’ve heard that word before, Marv said that after getting hit by a paint can in Home Alone!

Me: I never understood what he meant by that… You know what it means?

Mr Jenkels: Yeah I does, but you ain’t learning what that means till… Well I don’t know. Movies you watch when your older will tell you what that means. And maybe when your older you’ll even do some of the things in those movies.

--Athena and I both stared at each other confused about what he said (In all honesty we’s still confused about what he meant)

Me: huh?

Mr Jenkels: Forget it… What’s the next question on the list?

Athena: Uh,

Athena: What’re your thoughts on Racism?

Mr Jenkels: Just cause I’s old don’t mean I’m a racist. I’s still a spring chicken… Mentally that is.

--Mr Jenkels shows us his rotting teeth--

Athena: EW! Close your mouth, we don’t wanna see that!

Mr Jenkels: You know I once got a free meal doing that, scarred the guy half to death and he just left his food there on the bench for the taking.

Athena: Well were not giving you food for showing us your gross teeth, were giving you food to tell us about your thoughts on racism!

Mr Jenkels: Alright, Alright, but if your ever homeless in the future, make sure yous got rotten teeth, that make you look like one of them British boys. It’ll help you get more free food, I promise you.

Me: Just get on with your thoughts about racism, Mr.

Mr Jenkels: Well I don’t know what you want me to say. I ain’t racist, and the only time I ever was. Was when I was a kid.

Mr Jenkels: Like a lot of kids back than, I’d say the N-word, and I’d stay away from the few black folks around here, and if I ever did encounter a black person… I’d insult them, maybe even throw a rock at him or something.

Mr Jenkels: I know it’s wrong now, but the times was different back than. I was different, the people was different, and…

Mr Jenkels: I sound a bit like I’m trying to excuse my bad behavior, and maybe I am, but that’s truly how it was, when I was growing up. You young folk of today are more educated, and more smart, than I and the adults in my life was when I’s was growing up.

Me: Well I don’t know about that… You know whenever we have the unfortunate fate of walking past the high school, or just being around teenagers… We always hear em cussing, but also~

Athena: They say the N-word a lot when they speak to each other… Like a lot, a lot.

Me: Yeah! And they aren’t even black! Their Hispanic.

Mr Jenkels: Well I think it’s okay if they say it… I don’t know, I mean their a minority too, like black folks, so I think their allowed to say that word as well.

Mr Jenkels: Though, their not black. And the only reason we can’t say it as white folks is because we ain’t black… So why should it be any different for them if their also not black.

Me: I don’t know… Cause they skin is closer to brown rather than white?

Mr Jenkels: Well that’s a bit silly, I could pour some oil over my head right now, and say the n-word. do that make it any better?

Athena: I guess not… Cause that’d be black face Mr…

Mr Jenkels: Exactly, and so it shouldn't be any different for them Hispanic folks saying the N-word.

Me: But their not pouring oil on their heads… Their just naturally dark, er, but not completely black.

Athena: Well do we even any authority on this kinda thing… Were not even black. Me and Abacus are the whitest kids you’ve ever seen!

Athena: And you Mr. your so white your about to be a ghost.

Mr Jenkels: Har, har. Ol’ Jenkels, is on his deathbed, how funny little girl.

Mr Jenkels: We’ll see whose laughing in 20 years.

Me: Well no ones laughing right now, cause Athena isn’t funny

Athena: Watch it boy, yous messing with your writer.

Me: Well I write nearly all the jokes when it comes to our movies.

Athena: Yeah “Nearly” that don’t mean all of them. I says quality over quantity.

Me: Well I just make really good jokes, real quickly.

Athena: I’d beg to differ, and I think the class would agree with me on that.

Mr Jenkels: You kids kinda remind me of me and my wife.

--Athena and me back away from each other--

Athena: You know Abacus, I really like your eyes, keep those eyes… open…

Me: Yeah thank you Athena. I really like your… pants… Their the same color as mine.

Mr Jenkels: Never mind.

Athena: Ahem anyways. Shall we move onto the next question Mr?

Mr Jenkels: Well I don’t know, you guys kinda dropped a bomb shell on me. I didn’t know, kids was still saying all that kinda mean and nasty stuff to each other still.

Me: Maybe it’s just something you do when your parents ain’t love you. And yous gotta break out in some way. Heck maybe that explains why it’s always teenagers, and never adults or kids. Teenagers ain’t cute or anything like that. They is just gross.

Mr Jenkels: Well my father was quite unloving… And I was quite the ugly teenager back than.

Mr Jenkels: But I was also pretty stupid. I once threw a bunch of rocks at this girl I liked to make her fall in love with me.

Me: That, That is pretty stupid... Like love itself!

Athena: I also don’t think a lotta, girls like getting pelted with rocks.

Mr Jenkels: Oh they sure don’t. But they’ll do anything to get it to stop. That’s how I got her to date me for 2 whole days.

Mr Jenkels: Whole thing fell apart when she started throwing rocks at me.

Mr Jenkels: Women am I right boy?

Me: uh

--Athena goes up to me--

Athena: He’s old… most old people are sexist, and hate their wives. Just agree with him.

Me: Uh yeah, Mr, women sure is something.

Mr Jenkels: Like em racist folks.

Me: I don’t know how you can hate racism so much, but not sexism.

Mr Jenkels: I ain’t being sexist… I’s just making a joke.

Me: You know that’s the same thing those kids at the high school says whenever their caught saying the N-word.

Me: They always just say it’s a joke and that it ain’t hurting no one, cause its just a word. But they ain’t understand. They is stupid! That’s why they go to that high school.

Athena: You ain’t better than those kids Mr.

Athena: In fact, yous worse than them. They at least get the excuse of being young and stupid. Yous suppose to be wise and smart, and you are, but. Just not as wise and smart as we thought you were.

Mr Jenkels: Geez… I just got my ass whooped by two 9 year old's...

Mr Jenkels: Well I hear where yous coming from kids, but…

Mr Jenkels: No, there really isn’t much of a difference between me and those teenagers. Other than the fact that I ain’t being racist.

Athena: Don’t you think he should place a dime into your swear jar abacus?

Me: It’s different with him. Hes homeless. And he was in the army, so I imagine he picked it up from there.

Athena: And hes a man! I smell a double standard here between you two. I’s onto you.

Me: You don’t even listen to me when I tell you to put a dime in the swear jar half the time!

Athena: That’s cause it’s stupid Abacus.

Athena: Their just…

Athena: Never mind...

Me: Ah. Yous was about to say they is just words weren’t you!

Athena: Anyways, uh you wanna change questions now Mr.

Me: I’s onto the both of you.

Mr Jenkels: Sure, if it lets us escape this smart…

Mr Jenkels: What do you guys use as a substitute for… Donkey…

Athena: I’ve always just said “arse” cause it’s close enough, and basically means the same thing. But for some reason he doesn’t have a problem with that.

Mr Jenkels: I get that your a prude, ain’t ya boy?

Me: Sure is. But I’ve got my reasons.

Athena: Stupid reasons.

Me: zip it.

Athena: You know, I don’t have a problem with you saying “shut up” it’s not even that offensive or mean.

Me: Well too bad, I wouldn’t want someone to say it to me, so I won’t say it to you.

Athena: Shut up idiot.

Athena: Ahem, Now Mr. Jenkels. How do you think the climate has changed from the 1800’s to the 1900’s.

Mr Jenkels: Well I wasn’t around to really see the 1800’s. I’s old but not that old. My father on the other hand, well he was born in 1895 so.

Mr Jenkels: He was pretty racist I’d say.

Me: He attended KKK meetings

Mr Jenkels: But he wasn’t even a card carrying member!

Me: Sure…

Mr Jenkels: I swear he wasn’t… He was just slightly racist, but not like really racist.

Mr Jenkels: One time he told me that he once pushed a black boy into the Remington River while on his way to school.

Athena: I think that constitutes as… really racist.

Mr Jenkels: And then there was the time when he commented on how we’d lose the war because we’d recruited too many black people into the army.

Mr Jenkels: Oh and there was also the time when he helped his friends in the KKK with their little fire ritual.

Athena: He literally helped them kill a bunch of black people!

Mr Jenkels: Well he always said it was just meant to intimidate dem. Not kill em or anything… Yet.

Mr Jenkels: I mean later on in life he weren’t as radical, he would just berate black folks, you know calling em the n-word n stuff, maybe trip em if their shoe was untied.

Me: That’s still not a good thing.

Mr Jenkels: Well it was a sign of changing times at least, and if he was alive today, he’d probably love black folks.

Athena: I don’t know about that, a lotta people still dislike black folks you know.

Athena: Your homeless so I don’t know if you know, but in 1992 a police officer ended up nearly killing a guy for… I think it was drunk driving or something, and the guy-

Mr Jenkels: Hold up. I know what your talking about! I’s homeless but I still watch TV, I’d be an even sadder sap than I am now if I didn’t. Yous talking about that 1992 L.A riots. Aren’t you?

Athena: Uh yeah. How can you even watch TV out here? Your homeless!

Mr Jenkels: Well I don’t got a TV of my own and even if I did, I wouldn’t have a place to plug it in. So I watch other peoples TV’s

Mr Jenkels: Some people don’t put up their curtains you know. So I just kinda look at their TV through the windows.

Me: How do you hear the sound though?

Mr Jenkels: I open up a little bit of their window, not enough to where they’d notice but just small enough to where I can hear the TV.

Athena: That’s… Concerning

Mr Jenkels: Well it’s either that or murder little girl, so where do you prefer I get my entertainment from.

Athena: I’d prefer it if you didn’t stalk people, and didn’t make threats of violence.

Mr Jenkels: Well at least am being inclusive about my threats, I’d kill anyone, regardless of race, gender, economic status, and… whatever else people identify with.

Mr Jenkels: Unlike those cops back in LA, It was crazy watching that video tape the guy recorded

Me: Eh, it could’ve been better, he could’ve gone outside with his camcorder, and filmed the thing in a bush or something. Maybe he could’ve opened his window up a bit so he could get some audio. And-

Athena: You Idiot! You always complain about that video! It’s not that big of a deal Abacus! He got what he needed to get on camera, and he got people mobilized regardless of his skill and camera work.

Me: I’m just saying he could’ve done a much better job of filming that incident. I wish I were in his position, I would’ve done a much better job.

Athena: That’s a bit disrespectful, don’t you think? To both the Videographer, and Rodney.

Athena: And besides, you wouldn’t want to actually film that. Remember when those high schoolers got into a fight, and one of their friends asked you to record the fight and you went running.

Me: Well this is different. This isn’t some stupid teenager drama, this is about something that actually matters, and will make a difference on the world. I ain’t going to decline the offer to film that based on the fact that it’s a fight.

Athena: But you will decline the moment you see blood.

Me: I ain’t that scared of blood… I can tolerate it.

Athena: No you can’t. You fell off your bike last year and didn’t change your pants or take a bath for an entire month, in fear that you’d see blood on your knee!

Athena: And when I told you to just check it out because you started stinking.

Athena: More than you usually do.

Athena: And FORCED you to take a look. All that was there was a slight gash, not even any blood.

Me: Well you ever consider that I just didn’t feel like taking a bath for an entire month…

Athena: I did! Cause you usually don’t do that in the first place!

Athena: Nelly has to force you to take a bath!

Me: That’s cause bathing is a waste of time… Like brushing your teeth. I’ve got movies to make, and computer things to do!

Athena: Still doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least practice basic hygiene!

Me: The avera-

Athena: There you go again with that stupid statistic!

Mr Jenkels: Man, you guys really do remind me of my wife and I.

--Me and Athena stare at each other again--

Athena: I’d like to apologize to you Abacus.

Athena: Your refusal to take a bath, or brush your teeth, or practice any hygiene in general is a very smart move for someone as big brained as you.

Athena: Don’t drop it.

Me: Why thank you, Athena. I’m honored that you’ve finally come to agree with my stance on bathing. You’ve finally used that writers brain you got to good use.

Me: Keep it up, smarty.

Mr Jenkels: Ah well never mind again.

Mr Jenkels: It was fun watching you two fight.

Me: We don’t fight that often.

Athena: Very rare that we do, just when tempers flare up, you know.

Mr Jenkels: Heh, Flare. Just like LA, during those riots.

Mr Jenkels: You guys could’ve started a riot if yous let your tempers continue to flare up. In fact that’s exactly the reason the whole riots happened.

Mr Jenkels: No one was a hero there. The police, the government, the people. All of dem just as guilty as the next. The only heroes in LA during that whole mess were the ones who stayed home and prayed to god that they don’t get attacked, by either parties.

Mr Jenkels: If only every party involved was as smart as you two.

Me: Yeah… Well were very level headed like that…

Athena: Only reason we stopped was cause we don’t like being cast as a couple.

Me: Yeah, that is why we stopped bickering.

Mr Jenkels: You know I feel like that’d do the opposite.
Abacus: Yeah I guess it would…

Me: I hate you Athena

Athena: Yeah I hate you too Abacus

Mr Jenkels: Again, you guys are reminding me of my-

Me: don’t even.

Mr Jenkels: Alright, alright.

Mr Jenkels: So as I was saying.

Mr Jenkels: Nobody involved in the riots handled it well. They all just let that extremist in them get the best of them. They embarrassed themselves and the country by acting the way they did.

Mr Jenkels: At least they’ll pose as a lesson for future generations of Americans.

Mr Jenkels: I was wrong to assume that we’d eradicated racism. Even here in Korage, like with those teenagers at the high school you mentioned, and in this stupidly progressive decade. We just can’t seem to get rid of it.

Mr Jenkels: It’s almost a new millennium, and we still just can’t seem to be able to destroy this evil ideology of viewing others as lesser, that has not only plagued this country since it’s inception. But this entire species.

Mr Jenkels: I may not remember much about American history, But I do remember a lot about Roman history. You know they used to enslave white people, and black people. I was shocked when I first read that in a book, and it really showed me, that this concept of people being lesser than us, for something that they can’t even control.

Mr Jenkels: Has always been with us, since god, or whoever it was that made us. Put us on this planet. And we may never be able to truly get rid of it. But we might as well try our darnedest, to make it better.

Mr Jenkels: And you two kids can help in that goal. Your young still… Too young to really be able to do anything meaningful about all of the ills of the world.

Mr Jenkels: But I’m sure that when your both old enough to drive a car, you’ll make for some fine activists. And maybe you’ll even do it together.

--Mr Jenkels winked at the camera when he said this for some reason--

Me: Well I’m pretty good with a camcorder if I say so, myself. And Athena she’s got a way with words.

Athena: I once gave a fiery speech about why lemons are better than limes for a project in language arts.

Athena: Almost made Ms. Lori cry.

Me: And you could share that speech now with the entire world in the future.

Me: By than, everyone will have internet access.

Mr Jenkels: I’ve heard of that “Internet” thing before from some of the other guys who live here.

Mr Jenkels: What’s so great about it? So far as I can tell it’s either going to be like TV, or a whole lot more worse than TV.

Me: Oh, It’s this great piece of technology that’s going to revolutionize the way information is shared, and how people interact with each other. And I’m early to the gold rush!

Athena: Don’t get him started on that internet thing. He could go on, and on about that stupid thing for days. He’s talked my ear about it for so long, that I’m starting to actually think hes right.

Me: That’s cause I am right! That website project we did for our history class got 5 visitors on it! Maybe even someone from Nigeria saw the web page!

Athena: Yeah maybe they did. And maybe they immediately left cause it was in English! Bet your stupid internet can’t do translation.

Me: Yeah it can’t… But it will be able to do that in the future!

Me: People will start entire protests online in the future too! They’ll continue to fight for the rights of others, and fight for an end to police brutality there!

Athena: And how long will it take for this future to arrive?

Me: I don’t know… Maybe 5 years or so? I mean technology moves fast. And the police don’t stop beating random black men for nothing.

Athena: 5 years seems a bit too soon. But if you are right and people do start to fight for the end of police brutality online. And if Mr Jenkels is right about injustices never stopping or going away.

Athena: Won’t it just create a cycle of protest, annoyance, silence rinse and repeat till the end of time?

Me: I guess I never thought about that… Well some progress will probably be made. Space is the limit when it comes to rainbows and sunshine.

Athena: Well not for rainbows, that kinda stuff needs to happen in the sky, but sunshine I get.

Mr Jenkels: So this internet thing really is just like TV, but somehow even more worse for society.

Mr Jenkels: Sometimes I’m quite happy that I’m so poor that I can’t afford to engage with what the public does.

Me: I bet that stance would change real quickly if you was laying next to a fireplace on your couch watching, Friends or whatever it is adults watch on TV.

Mr Jenkels: Mmm. Maybe yous right boy. That does seem kinda nice…

Athena: How long have we stayed on this question Abacus?

Me: Uh, about 15 minutes.

Athena: Yikes. Ahem Mr. would you like to move onto the next question?

Mr Jenkels: Sure! Ask away little lady.

Athena: How many-

Athena: Abacus? What is this?

Athena: We can’t ask him that question!

Athena: That’s offensive to veterans!

Me: But it’s an interesting question!

Mr Jenkels: Is it about how many people I’ve killed while in service?

Athena: No sir! Absolutely not.

Me: It is!

Mr Jenkels: It’s always the ones with the cameras and microphones asking that question.

Mr Jenkels: Well those people and little kids.

Mr Jenkels: Well if you must know.

Mr Jenkels: I’ve killed Non yaundred Buzznuss people while in service.

Athena: That ain’t no number I ever heard of?

Me: Is that some number you learn about in high school?

Mr Jenkels: No. It stands for Non Ya Buzznuss.

Me: Oh…

Athena: We should’ve seen that…

Mr Jenkels: Truth is kids. No one ever knows how many people they’ve killed while in the army, only god knows, and he probably ain’t to happy with me for killing a buncha people, so I doubt he’d want to give me, my tally.

Me: Yeah, I see that, but it would’ve been cool if you knew.

Mr Jenkels: Yeah well now you know why army men don’t like being asked that question. So don’t do it again, others may not be as forgiving as me.

Mr Jenkels: It ain’t the 1930’s anymore but parents still give out physical punishments to kids you know.

Athena: Yikes…

 

By this point the conversation ended up with us going completely off topic (even though we did quite a lot of that during this interview) so I’ll end it off right there.

On another note Mr. Burningham, If you want to assign us a project about the ill’s of child abuse for language arts… that’d be pretty cool. I’d even laugh at one of your jokes (I’m not making the same commitment hes making.)

 

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